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It’s the month of love, for some it’s a wonderful time and for some, it feels heavy whether you are in a relationship, dating or single you can still feel lost and lonely.
There's a focus on your loved ones/ finding love but how about if we changed this narrative of Valentine's day to be about finding love within yourself for yourself because after all your relationship with yourself is the most important and most profound of all.
Without self-worth and self-love, we may be living a life that’s not purposeful and authentic to who we really are.
Can you say you love yourself? Can you say you even like yourself?
Imagine a world where you dot want to be anyone else but yourself. The world would feel limitless and peaceful and you would make true connections and live in alignment.
What is self-love?
Self-love is the foundation of happiness, it’s difficult to access and sometimes complicated but it's what everyone should strive for.
It is the basis for unconditional abundant love towards others and yourself which generally enables a fulfilled life and having a lack of self-love, self-worth and self-esteem manifests as comparing yourself to others, jealousy, lack of trust in yourself and others, a feeling of being unsafe, scarcity in finances, unfulfilling career and job and a sense of feeling out of control.
Why don’t we love ourselves?
A combination of lots of things from childhood trauma, trauma in general, the language/ pressure we have grown up with, carry feelings of shame and guilt, social media and society, diet culture, your own deep routed beliefs and narrative in your head just to name a few.
How can we start to build a relationship with ourselves and connect back to who we are and find acceptance and compassion?
Tuning into our feelings and moving through them instead of rejecting or suppressing them. Acceptance of how we feel rather than feeling frustrated or annoyed that we have these thoughts and feelings. Forgive yourself is as important as forgiving others, and holding onto hatred will manifest in the body. Set boundaries for yourself and stop people pleasing, practice saying no when it's right for you. Heal old wounds and experiences you didn’t fully deal with and honour your inner child. Do things that make you feel good inside. Spend time with yourself physically and mentally.
Whether you are looking for love or want to improve the relationships you are in you must be happy with yourself on the inside and out first and then you will attract what’s right for you and it will come with ease and more pleasure.
How to practice self love?
Write a list of everything you want from a partner and a relationship and become those things first.
Do something every day that makes you feel good on the inside and out. Spend tie with people who light you up and make you feel wholesome. Spend time outside in nature or places you love. Ask your friends to send you a list of why they love you and read it as often as needed. Play your favourite songs and dance. Journal out your thoughts and feelings from each day and have compassion for yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to do things with, start doing them now on your own or with a friend.